Scary Story

My sister had just given birth to her first child, Braden. The next day I went to visit her in the morning, but couldn't stay, so that evening I had decided to go back and visit her even though visiting hours would soon be over. By the time I got to the hospital and found a parking spot 2 blocks away, the main entrance of the Royal Alex was already closed, but I figured I could find another door and sneak in that way.

I walked around the side of the hospital. It was pitch black outside and I was thinking with all the nooks and crannys, that someone could easily be hiding in wait for a cute young target such as myself. I spotted someone going into a door so I started to walk towards it when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadow of a person smoking in one of the nooks. I walked a little faster, bee lining for the door, but I could soon hear through the quiet of the night that he was following me.

I booked it for the door and as soon as I got inside I realized I was in the basement tunnels and I had no idea which way led to the elevators. I was walking at a brisk pace, looking for a sign. Behind me, I heard the door close once more and then the sound of footsteps down the tunnel, faint at first, but getting louder. It was like a horror movie. I started to run now. I turned a corner and was face to face with the elevator, panicking, breathing heavily.

The footsteps were getting louder...closer.

I kept pushing the button, like it was going to make it get there any faster, FREAKING out, thinking the worst possible thoughts that could go through my head.

The footsteps were getting louder...closer, I could hear my own heartbeat, I was PRAYING for the elevator door to open before the scary nook man got to me. And then "ding". The door opened.

I could still hear his steps coming. I got in as fast as I could and was pounding on the close door button. Now the steps were faster, he was running!

The door started to close, seemingly in slow motion. All I could think of was "CLOSE, DAM DOOR! CLOSE! BEFORE THE SCARY MONSTER GETS TO ME!" His footsteps were right there! My finger still planted on the close door button, I watched the doors, closing in seemingly extra slow motion, expecting this big scary hand to come between the slight crack of light and pry open the doors, then come in and strangle the life out of me. Then I thought "I'm just being foolish. Theres absolutely nothing to be worried about."...When suddenly...

WHAM! The big scary hand slammed between the doors and started to pry them open.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe my foolish thought was actually happening.

He stepped inside. The door started to close, I wanted to scream. The two doors merged with a metallic echo through the silence. And then he spoke.

"Looks like it's going to be a long painful night".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I screamed in my head, as I struggled not to pee my pants.

I quickly turned and looked him in the face. "WHAT?!"

"My wife is having a baby tonight. She's been in labor since this morning", he replied.

Big whoosh of relief for me. I started to breathe again.

It's funny now, though at the time I'd never been so scared in my life... It's that overactive imagination I mentioned earlier. But I think it makes for some good stories. And I have many, many more.

Awwww!

The best love story of all time...

Big Fish!

This is my all time favorite love story. Of course the movie was much more than this, but I think it was the best part of the movie. Of course, I KNOW...it's just a movie, but wouldn't it be great to tell your kids?? In this movie, the main man (and object of my unrealistic desire :) ) is Edward. He travels to a new town and ends up at the circus, where he sees the woman of his dreams and believes they are destined to get married. The two make eye contact. And as they do, all motion freezes. A fiery baton remains mid-twirl, flames locked in place. A spilled box of popcorn hangs in mid-air, each kernel like a snowflake. Even the elephant is mid-poop. Only Edward is free to move, winding his way between the frozen bodies, ducking underneath arms to get closer and closer to this woman. Edward says: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that’s true. What they don’t tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up. Suddenly, everything RUSHES. The crowd becomes a blur, and the young woman is lost in its wake. Now it’s Edward who’s frozen, helpless in time. Edward checks in windows as cars pull out, searching for his fated love. Not finding her, he becomes more frantic,running down the rows. He loses her, so he talks to the Circus ringleader and asks to find out who she is. He tells the guy , "I’ll work night and day, and you won’t have to pay me. You just have to tell me who she is." Amos says for every month of work, he can find out ONE thing about her. Edward works month after month to find out the smallest details of her life, like that he favorite flower is daffodils, or that she likes music. And after 3 years he hadn't even found out her name. Finally, after Edward saves Amos's life, he tells Edward her name and where she is going to college. Edward shows up at the college with 10,000 daffodils and waits 6 hours on the lawn just for a chance to talk to her. Face to face, he tells her: You don’t know me, but my name is Edward Bloom and I am in love with you. I’ve spent the last three years working to find out who you are. I’ve been shot and stabbed and trampled a few times, had my ribs broken twice, but it’s all worth it to see you here, now, and to finally get to talk to you. Because I am destined to marry you. I knew that from the first moment I saw you at the circus. And I know it now more than ever. Sandra says You don’t even know me. Edward says I have the rest of my life to find out!

NOW WHO WOULDN'T WANT A LOVE LIKE THAT!

Anyways, thats my blog today. Just thought, you know, we got action, adventure, humor, and intellect...and now, romance. What could be better reading?

Pick-Up lines

The worst I've heard

• Your eyes...are so big...and beautiful...like...EGGS!
• I don't need to know her real name, just wanna take her home and "tap her"
• I "used to be" bisexual
• C'mon. Slap and a tickle! No strings attached!
• My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
• Do you know what'd look good on you?? Me
• I'm hot, you're hot. Wanna go out tonight?

I mean, what is wrong with people these days! Do they actually think that any of these lines would actually work?

I guess for some, they just might. Myself, I laugh in the face of such nonsense. I'd much prefer a gentleman, who just says sweet stuff...like "have I told you that you are beautiful tonight" or "you're much much better than fudge!". You know! A little class works wonders.

"God spilled the paint!"

This is just amazing. I would love to see this in person!

"Feedin' Beavers"

I took my son down to the river the other day to soak up some of the little remaining nice weather we have left. I watched him for a little while as he took every stick he could find and proceed to throw it as far as he could into the water...after a few minutes of this, I thought. Hmmm....Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. So I told him "Shay, no more sticks, kay baby!" to which he promptly replied "...Aww. But I'm feedin' the beavers! One more, kay mom?" Kids are so awesome! I didn't have the heart to tell him if there WERE any hungry beavers in the North Saskatchewan at that time, they were probably all scary like, having a third eye or extra body parts, not to mention the smell I'm sure they'd emit coming out of that water! Ew!

Some of the best worst lies I've been told.

"I can't come to work today. My stretch marks are infected."

"I can't come to work today. I have water on the knee. Literally, like water is actually running down my knee."

"It'll be in YOUR name, but of course I will make the payments!"

"Of course E.I will pay for your childcare expenses while you go to school."

AND...The worst lie I've ever been told was by a "friend" of like 10 years. He claimed he had stomach cancer and wanted to sell his car to my parents for $5000, so he would

have money when he took off the time for his chemo treatments. This is the worst lie EVER because he carried it on for weeks. I can't believe the inhumanity. It was all a lie!

How do people live with themselves?

I was reading an article in Womens' World magazine the other day about a "trendy" new way to lose weight. It's called "SHUFFLE WALKING". It comes down to this. You walk for 5 minutes at a brisk pace, then "shuffle" for 30 second intervals.

"The shuffle is a very short stride, where you're barely moving your legs, almost walking in place"...

And they suggest getting a timer that beeps at regular intervals to make this "easier".

Hmmm.

And they say this is "trendy". I think that is just a big fat lie. I don't see whats "trendy" about it. Myself...if I was walking down the street, and heard the person in front of me beeping, and they abruptly halted their brisk pace for a shuffle, well, I think I might be a little worried. Either that they were going to pee their pants or that they're carrying off some kind of suicide bombing. In which, I think both cases would be a tad alarming.

...Things that make you go hmmm.

ASPECTS OF COLOR

Complimentary colors

make a strange pair.

They are opposite, yet they require each other. Shadow is as much color as light. Often even much, much more The visual perception of a color is continually affected by the colors around it. Black contains all colors Blue is the only color which maintains its character in all its tones. Take blue in all its nuances, from the darkest to the lightest, it will always stay blue. Whereas yellow is blackened in its shades and fades away when lightened, And red when darkened becomes brown, and when diluted with light, is no longer red, but another color- Pink.

One time...I had gotten a new haircut, and I wasn't really sure if I liked it or not. I was walking down the sidewalk at the time contemplating the issue when I thought to myself, hmm...I wonder if it looks ok . And right as I had finished saying it in my head, a very large blond lady leaned out her window and said "Hey LADY!!! I like your hair!".........

So I smiled and said thanks. The End.

My favorite song, or one of them, by Foo Fighters

EVERLONG

Hello, I’ve waited here for you, everlong

Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, out of her head she sang

Come down and waste away with me, down with me

Slow how, you wanted it to be, I’m over my head, out of her head she sang

And I wonder when I sing along with you

if everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good againThe only thing I’ll ever ask of you

You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when she sang

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in

And now, I know you’ve always been out of your head, out of my head I sang

And I wonder when I sing along with you

if everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I’ll ever ask of you

You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when she sang

And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I’ll ever ask of you

You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when

Another totally rockin song is All my life. And Times like these.

My New Haircut

Today I was going to get a cut and color, but only got the cut. But I like it... and it's always nice to go get your hair shampooed by someone else. Plus, the shampoo had like a tingly minty sensation to it all which just made it all around a more enjoyable experience. I also got a couple of really cute outfits and got treated to lunch, all the while my 3 children were having tons of fun without me, which is awesome because they really deserved a "spoil day" too. And it's always nice when someone else is doing the spoiling and I get a break, awesome as they are!

The Story of Mrs. Pie.

One time...I had to make an appearance in court. It was like a Monday morning, the courtroom was packed. There wasn't even a seat for me as I walked in the door. People were lined up against the back wall as I did I until it was my turn to go up and speak. People in the back were chattering away and there just seemed to be a lot of background noise in the room. [By the way, I wasn't there because I comitted some henious crime, I was going to speak on the behalf of someone. Just thought I'd make that clear.] Getting to the point, I went up when my name was called, the judge asked my name. He asked me to repeat it about 3 times, and after the third time he asked if the court reporter could read it aloud to him. She says, "Wendy Pie" he looks at me and says "Mrs.Pie..." I leaned into the little mic and tried to correct him, but he just carried on. I think I said it twice more but he completely missed it. So for the duration of the time I stood there he acknowledged me as Mrs. Pie. I finally gave up and just went with it, but the people behind me had heard me correctly and were getting a big kick out of it, snickering and such whenever he said it. I was pretty embarassed, but had to smile and say..."it could only happen to me!" The End

ABC's of Wendy

Artist Beautiful Clever Dedicated Emotional Funny Graphic Hip Intuitive Jovial Kind Loyal Motivated Neat One of a kind Passionate Quirky Responsive Sensual True Unassuming Vibealacious Witty Xcellent:) Young at heart Zany

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I found this on the net. Apparently this woman has

Asperger's Syndrome.I could make a comment

about the "Aspergers" thing but I won't

out of respect for this piece of art.

Wantsome Wendy-

Who Wendy wants will win,

when Wendy wants we've won!

Won willowy well-wisher-

wrestles with wanderlust-

while wearily wambling westward.

Wednesday's walk, woebegone with waxing,

wondering... "what will woo Wendy?

"Why would we wonder what Wendy wants-

when witnessing Wendy's writing?

Willfully wrought with whooshing waves,

winking women, wiggling while whistfully whistling.

Watchfully winning whilst washy with wariness,

we wonder:When Wendy will wed,

will wired worshippers watch-

while weeping wantonly?

...Well, whatever Wendy wants!

Wow!

http://www.upsaid.com/wendykay/index.php?action=viewcom&id=15

Azuzephre, awesome illustrations!

Good day, all! Yes, I am back. Yes, I know you missed me. So, on Sunday which is tomorrow, I am going to have my hair done. I've been asking people, what color should I go...to which I have had numerous, sometimes downright crazy answers. So I thought I'd get a larger opinion base, which I hope to do right here. So if you have an opinion feel free to leave a comment. Today I thought I'd amuse my devoted readers with some stuff I found whilst surfing the net....The kind of humor which tickles my fancy! Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk... a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk........ a) Thanks, but I don't want to kiss you. b) Nope, no more booze for me. c) Sorry, but you're not really my type. d) No kebab for me, thank you. e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f) I'm not interested in fighting you. g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing. h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination. i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to barf in the street. j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning. Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu 10. Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol 9. Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons 8. Frighten birds by constantly meowing 7. Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird 6. Anti-bacterial smoothies 5. Move to a place where there are no birds...like the moon 4. Avoid birds that look like they're up to something 3. Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking 2. Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets 1. If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets Best quotes I've seen courtesy of George Dub-ya Bush!! "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future. "The future will be better tomorrow." "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." "Public speaking is very easy." "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." "For NASA, space is still a high priority." "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." Well that's all for now. Looking forward to the haircolor advice. Please be nice.

The "Wendy Wants"/ "Wendy Needs" Game! (Google Search) The Wants... Wendy wants to be on the TV Show Dancing with the Stars!!! Wendy wants to make a film from the kid's point of view Wendy wants to fix up their office. Wendy wants it big Wendy wants to do 42 things Wendy wants a new dress but her mum won't buy her the one she wants Wendy wants to see her egg Wendy wants everyone to buy her music Wendy wants someone who will not be upset by her independence or her crazy posse of beautiful blonde friends! ... Wendy wants to lay a few ghosts Wendy wants to become a child life specialist Wendy wants a hot bath, a glass of wine and a night in with the television. Wendy wants to take the fear out of maths Wendy wants to go but not without her brothers Wendy wants you to stay where you are Wendy wants to say no, but she says all right Wendy's wants finger tips Wendy wants to surround herself with fat, stupid and ugly people Wendy wants to do a show about nuclear weapons Wendy wants to continue in paid work Wendy Wants To Join Your Family Wendy wants to give Peter a kiss from the start Wendy wants to increase her global rate of speech Wendy wants a life of adventure Wendy wants more from him Wendy wants to know if your ok! Wendy wants to meet me at Stark's pond after school today Wendy wants to point out that she loves horn sections Wendy wants revenge for the attempt on her life. Wendy wants very much to be "big dog." Wendy wants artists to report other artists whom they believe to be importers Wendy wants to get to the edge Wendy wants to take that one And now...the needs... Wendy needs every measuring cup and teaspoon she can find. Wendy needs 4 for muffins. Wendy needs mental help. Wendy needs to grow up. Wendy needs our support now more than ever. Wendy needs $300,000. Wendy needs to know that doing whippets can cause frostbite of the nose, lips, or vocal cords. Wendy needs help building a soccer field. Wendy needs her energy for crashing cocktail parties, scoring drugs, and fending off passes, Wendy needs twice as much milk as Jake Wendy needs a little time, Dress her boy up, Take him out on parade Wendy needs more than one piece of equipment Wendy needs a drink now. Not beer, either. Hard liquor delivers a sharper, more-focused buzz Wendy needs more chairs for these oral sessions Wendy needs more HUGS! Wendy needs to understand the requirement Wendy needs a man - no - a gentleman Wendy needs constant reassurance before making decisions Wendy needs playthings with a longer shelf life Wendy needs direct financial help Wendy needs to crawl back into her hole and fade into history Wendy needs to calm her nerves with a f*ck. Heh.

"Hi Ho!" It's time to get things started on the most sensational inspirational celebrational muppetational muppet of them all! This is Kermie. I have a new found affection for the little green guy... what can I say!? Laa, da daa dee da daa daa, La laa la la laa dee daa doo...(another one of those inexplainable things...for now) But..I think he is quite muppetational! I mean, it aint easy being green...or frequenting street corners and reporting on fairy tales, teaching monsters (especially Oscar, that grouch!) the ins and outs of sesame life, dodging sloppy kisses from Miss Piggy and being victim to pushy salesmen like Grover, all the while maintaining his optomistic and positive attitude as he does so well!! And just look at how hot he looks with those jeans riding on the hips. :)

So, heres to Kermie. And also to my inspiration who, incidently, I also have a new found affection for. You brighten up my mornings. This frog blogs for you!

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Risks To laugh is to risk appearing a fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk rejection. To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave. He has forfeited his freedom. Only a person who takes risks is free.

Unknown

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Just in case you haven't noticed, I added some nifty little extras! First, theres a site meter, so if you come in and out and in and out and in and out, it'll look like I'm really popular! ;) There's also a guestbook, you know, just in case it wasn't enough to just come in and read about my crazy shenanegans and adventures. But, I won't take it personally if you choose to duck out without leaving your name...HA HA HA HA! BECAUSE I HAVE THE COUNTER AND AT LEAST I'LL KNOW THAT SOMEONE WAS THERE!!! Yes, I'm mad...and methodical! But that's why you love me, right? RIGHT?? :)

I took a quiz called which muppet are you...this is my result. Who woulda known! (TOO FREAKIN FUNNY!) You are Dr. Bunson Honeydew.You love to analyse things and further the cause of science, even if you do tend to blow things up more often than not. HOBBIES:Scientific inquiry, Looking through microscopes, Recombining DNA to create decorative art. QUOTE:"Now, Beakie, we'll just flip this switch and 60,000 refreshing volts of electricity will surge through your body. Ready?" FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTIST:John Cougar Melonhead LAST BOOK READ:"Quantum Physics: 101 Easy Microwave Recipes" NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:An atom smasher and plenty of extra atoms.

Wens' Day! Having an unusually quiet morning. My day started off great, woke up early for once, got the kids out the door on time! Took the pitifully short bus ride to school, dropped off the kids and met up with my new friend with whom I share an almost daily coffee. Today we walked in a gigantic circle. It was kinda sorta snowing as we started our journey but the flakes seemed to quickly evaporate into the brisk air, leaving behind only the SOUND of a kinda sorta rain. You couldn't see it yet it made the sound of like, those little nerd candies falling steadily on a plastic tarp...or something like that. Strange. Stealth rain. One of those unexplainable things. Like on time...It was springtime in BC. I was walking to an appointment early in the morning. It was a beautiful morning. The sky was like a deep baby blue, like one little puffy cloud in the whole sky. The sun was shining. I was completely admiring the scenery, the bursts of spectacular colors in all the flowers and foliage around me. I crossed the street to where there was a row of trees perfectly lined up, overhanging the sidewalk. The leaves on them were the most delicious shade of chocolate brown, and as I walked underneath them I noticed that there was a cool mist showering down on me, and I thought "this is so amazing, I will always remember this morning." And then it hit me. "It was a beautiful morning. The sky was like a deep baby blue, like one little puffy cloud in the whole sky. The sun was shining." I looked around, kinda expecting to see a sprinkler on the lawn, or something to explain the mist. But there was nothing. It bothered me at first, but then I decided I didn't need an answer, that I was just going to hold on to it. And that's what I was reminded of today, the beauty of the universe.

"Isle of Yough"

Though my last trip there turned out to be a bust, I hope to one day return.

Monty Rocks!

We used to have a pet hamster, but he met a very tragic and untimely death. Monty and I had a moment once. It was so sweet and intense I felt as though it should be documented, so I did. But soon after, he was gone. I think in general, people get so caught up in the day-to day, that they fail to remember that there might not be a tomorrow. Or if tomorrow does come, it could be the day that changes the rest of their life and nothing will ever be the same. I was stuck once, stuck in a rut, worried about what would happen if I tilted my cloud. My overactive imagination thought of the worst possible things that could happen if I took the tiniest step. And then one day I had an epiphany of sorts, and I thought of the proverbial glass, half full. I thought...what if I do this, and it turns out to be the best thing that ever happened in my life? What if something totally wonderful and unexpected happens? It was the epiphany of sorts that changed my life. My life has changed, and in a way that my overactive imagination could never have predicted in a million years. Point is, you NEVER know what's going to happen. You could wake up tomorrow and your hamster is dead. You could find out that your "nice neighbor" has 7 personalities and has suddenly been shipped off to the pen for killing a cop dog and stealing the cruiser. You could wind up in a nunnery, cohorting with the sistas', being generously loved and prayed for as you struggle through the grind, thwarting unwanted advances from same sex aquaintances who wanna smoke smack, jib out and squander away all their dignity in just one night. OR...you could look up one day and see your very own Spiderman, find beauty and peace in the unknown, meet new friends, rediscover your talents, find out you really are capable of anything if you want it... You just never know.

"Wonder Wendy" I always wondered "what is a blog?" And then my sisters started blogging and suddenly I have been advised that I need to blog, too. My life has been pretty interesting this year. I may have some unique perspectives to share with the universe. So... this is me. Well this is my face. I don't have THAT body, the cool sound effects, like the ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch noise she makes when she throws something, or the golden lariat. (I wish!) Oh, the things I could do with the golden lariat! But I'll save that for another blog. I am a graphic artist. And I have been told just recently that I am like Wonder Woman. Hence, the wishful rendition. (I really like the boots though, I may just get a pair for myself one day.) I even made up a unique title for myself. Graphic artist just sounds so mundane. So from now on I decided to call myself a "graphic imagress". (But you have to say it with an English accent, it sounds so much cooler!) Well, more to come tomorrow. I don't want to give it all away in just one day!