Case of the Pregnant Lady

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY This lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court.The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned." "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile. "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!"

This just in...

A British company is developing computer chips which store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them :)

Way to go Boys! Oilers Rock!!!

Tribute to tonights win by the Oilers against the not-so-mighty ducks!

Now, this is what hockey is all about!!

Sitting here with my window open, I just hear a steady stream of honking and cheering, whistling, drunken whoops of joy and lots of stomping to the tune of "Lets go Oilers, lets go"...you know. Theres a hockey party in the garage behind the alley and I can hear those annoying blasting trumpet things from near and far. Edmonton fans are so die-hard it's impossible to NOT get dragged into all the excitement. Anyways, awesome game! Hope y'all got to enjoy it too!

Arrested! Developments

The police were searching for a break and enter suspect and after over 24 hours with no luck finding him, they called the victim of the B&E's on her cell phone to report that they had had no luck and were going to be off for 4 days now, so they would resume their search at that time and to call 911 if said suspect came around in the meantime and to take safety precautions.

The woman started to panic... but before the panic had even completely registered there was another call on her home phone...it was said accused! He said he was at a payphone in the rain and wanted to talk! She told him to stay there and call back in 2 minutes. With cell phone and police still on the line, she told them his location and the payphone number and they raced off to find him, they were right in the immediate area!

Said accused called right back, and she managed to keep him on the line until the police found him. When they arrived all he could say was "The police are here...why are the police here...__ what is going on, why are the police here..."

No coincidence here. This was divine intervention of the most glorious kind. Said accused was released within 24 hours but he still had to sit for almost 12 hours in a tiny holding cell, cold and wet from the rain, I bet it really sucked. And GOOD!

I guess this is just a reminder of the beauty of the universe, "what goes around comes around", nothing is fate, things happen for a reason.

...A small yet satisfying victory!

My New Mantra

Funny Pics

The Worlds Dumbest Contestant

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

ArtLove

...Some examples of my creative endeavors...

Photo Restorations Business Card for a client Norman Rockwell inspired sketch of my son Animal mama and baby picture, hand drawn for picture frame Banner for the Lounge at the Abbotsford Airport 6' x 6' Highway construction sign Logo for a non-profit organization in BC, Focus Disability Network Society, which links people with disabilities with community support and referrals to programs. Apple Sketch

Hi Everybody!

I know it's been a long time, but as some of you know things have been crazy nuts. I could add a whole new read to one of my previous blogs titled "you never know" and the first one would pale in comparison. But I will start off with some pics! Yay pics! This is me with my new reading glasses. Don't I look professional?? he he . Ya, right. For me, it's just a reminder of my old age. Thank God for Miss Clairol, or I fear the consensus that I look about 24 would dissolve rapidly. Actually I have felt quite professional lately. I got an "Assistant" job with the 2006 Census, which I started on May 1st. I have a cute little desk on the 25th floor of the Oxford Tower which has the most amazing view of all of North Edmonton. What a view! If you walk around the whole floor you get a pretty spectacular view of the whole city. I have never seen Edmonton like this before. Pretty cool. Alas, I was hired knowing it was a temporary position, knowing it could end anytime, and I got the horrible phone call last night, I have to go in on Tuesday and hand in my security key and photo ID. Sniff. Goodbye gorgeous view. Goodbye cute heels and office wear. Goodbye sardine ride on the LRT. Goodbye smoke butt pickers out of all the ashtrays downtown. Goodbye homeless dirty man who told me I looked nice the other day...(Not like he was lying- I looked hot...but wouldn't ANYONE who showers look nice to a dirty old homeless man?) Well, thanks anyways. Lets see...well for Mothers Day, I spent the day with my gran, my mom and my sisters family. We went to Burnt Meat Lake outside of Camrose where we had a really nice time. There were even some horses there who stomped and snorted at us until we gave them a little attention before they playfully trotted away. Well, I have to go now, but I will try to write more later tonight. Bye for now!