I have a Leprechaun Name!

Leprechaun Name Your Leprechaun Name is Bonzi O'Callaghan Get Your Leprechaun Name at Quizopolis.com

Kids these days!!

I have to vent. This afternoon, Tyler was out just on the block when a couple of other kids came over, pushed him down, kicked him, threatened him and stole his bike. Grrrr. I am furious. Craig jumped in his truck and I in my car and if I would have found them myself I don't know what I'd have done. But thank goodness, Craig found them, chased them down, put the fear of God into them and retrieved the bike. He says they were only about 12 or 13 years old. Grrr. I think this area is getting a lot worse, maybe time to think about moving. Not that I want to, but I can't even let my kids play on our own block without being harassed and have things going missing out of our yard- The sad thing is that is all a bunch of little pre-teen native kids who we've had all the problems with. Last fall one stole Ty's skateboard a couple of times. The last time I walked right up to a ground floor apartment balcony and took it back. There was a dad or someone there and he didn't say or do a thing. I ask what is wrong with the kids but I have a good feeling someone should be asking the parents. It makes me sick!

Happy Birthday to my big bro!

Today is my big brother Ryans 35th birthday, He was born in the days of sideburns and Elvis.

Ryan is one year older than me but I usually kept up. Or I tried my hardest! He was always doing something when he was little, like disassembling all my dolls and barbies into pieces, torturing me with bugs, sicking dogs on me on the way to school, telling on me...usual sibling stuff I guess. I've decided to compile a "Best of" List:

Grossest thing I ever saw:

Ryan was claiming his devotion to a girl but she wouldn't give him the time of day unless he "proved it", which meant eating Ju-Jubes that she spit on and threw into the dirt. He was maybe in kindergarten or grade 1, and I was pretty grossed out and tried to talk him out of it, but the first one was green and he said "mmm, greens my favorite...it's just a little dirt"

Worst Rat-Out:

Ryan ratted me out for going to meet Corey O'Brien in grade 5 which ended up being the first time I was kissed by a boy. When I got home I was grounded for 2 weeks.

Worst time in trouble:

It's a long story in which the blame lays mostly on me but Ryan got it too cus he went along with it. My mom left a $20 bill on a chair in the living room and it was I, maybe 5 years old who came across it and had the bright idea of taking Ryan and all of our friends to the store. This is in the 70's, when a bag of chips or a chocolate bar was 25 cents. So me, Ryan, Tim, Ernie and Paul walked down to the corner store and I said since I found the money I would let them each get one thing and one thing only. So we all bought one thing. And I was left with like 19.00 in change and no good explanation for what I had just done. Once we were out of the store and I was left holding all the money, my concience went crazy and I told Ryan what I did. We decided the best thing to do was get rid of the evidence. The closest thing around? A big green garbage bin!! About 2/3 full. Later that day, or maybe even the next, my mom was questioning if any of us knew what happened to the money and it all came out. My mom was furious. It was money for Ryans birthday present. She marched us down to the bin and made Ryan hop in and search for it. Then when we got home we got our first dose of wooden spoon.

Scariest Moment:

Anytime Ryan was driving and I was a passenger. He makes me nervous.

Funniest Moment:

Ryan and I moved out when I was still in high school. We had a housewarming party and someone had the bright idea of buying a texas mickey of whisky! Well, Ryan was smashed, everyone else was smashed...that night was also a puke-o-rama, but I'll spare you the details. Well after everyone was gone I couldn't find Ryan, but I could hear the cat crying. I found him and the cat behind the recliner chair in the corner, and he was holding the cat down, who was trying to get away and he was saying "shhh. shh...you're going to hate me in the morning!". I don't know what that meant but I dragged Ryan out and rescued the cat. Then I tried to help Ry to bed. But as we went through his bedroom door he knocked over his dresser and tripped at the same time, he took me down with him, I landed on top of him and the dresser on top of both of us. I was trying to get up when I felt Ry start dry heaving and I looked down into his face. Right before he spewed I turned his face away from me and held it so he wouldn't puke on me, but it was puddled all around us. Then he passed out. I had to just lay him in it and leave until I worked up enough strength to pick him up. It wasn't really that funny then. But it's darned funny now!

Proudest Moment:

Everytime I see what a good dad you are to your kids!!

Worst ouch:

Once when we were riding our bikes to school he started chasing me with a stick. I took off as fast as I could but he got the better of me when he decided to poke the stick through the spokes of my tires. I went almost straight over the handlebars and got the wind knocked out of me SOOOO bad before I hit the road. I was furious.

Well Ryan, can you believe we're this old now!! And we have kids of our own?? My newest best memory was this past Christmas, when we went to dads for dinner...

"Sal AAAD? Would you like some salAAD?"

It was so funny to be sitting at the table with you and Jill giggling away about that. I felt like we were all kids again and everytime I think about it I still laugh! We have a lot of good memories and maybe one day we'll live in the same town long enough to have more! You're too far away big bro.

Hope you have an awesome birthday,

Love your Wendell

W.O.W

Marry not a tennis player-

For love means nothing to them!

Eagles Eye View

This sketch was a love hate relationship. When I first started it I thought it was crap. Then the other day I picked it up and did a little tweaking around the eyes...and voila! I already gave it to Booie but had to make a copy for myself!

I thought I had problems!

discovered at http://www.galwayfirst.ie/donkey/

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.

Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”

Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English. ” Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai. McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed.

He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

Color Quiz

Go to colorquiz.com and try it.

This color quiz astounds me every time!!!

These are my latest test results:

Your Existing Situation:

Active, outgoing, and restless. Feels frustrated by the slowness with which events develop along the desired lines. This leads to irritability,changeability, and lack of persistence when pursuing a given objective.

Your Stress Sources:

Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics:

Feels cut off and unhappy because of the difficulty in achieving the essential degree of cooperation and harmony which she desires.

Willing to become emotionally involved as she feels isolated and alone. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense, though she tries to avoid open conflict.

Your Desired Objective:

Seeks the determination and elasticity of will necessary to establish herself and to make herself independent despite the difficulties of her situation. Wants to overcome opposition and achieve recognition.

Your Actual Problem:

Strongly resists outside influence and any interference with her freedom to make her own decisions and plans. Works to establish and strengthen her own position.

Now is that me or what? That's so scary...but cool. I've told a few people about this site before but I should warn you to refrain from it if you've consumed alcohol. Cus well I gave the test to Craig on Friday night after he'd been drinkin with the by's. And his results kinda scared me, now it could have been that he wasn't reading so well in the dark-well dimmed room, and he'd been drinking and maybe even at first thought it was a game, so, anyways, do it during a break, or with coffee! :) I guess I won't hold it against him.

The Color of Candy

Garfield w/electric guitar and Odie, Waterproof Marker on Copy Paper,

By: Shay, March 4, 2007 aww look how he spelled Owdy!

This past weekend as the kids and I tried to make the best of being sick & feeling like crap, I decided to go out and get them a sketch book and a pack of big, bright, brand new felt pens!!! OOh OOh! theres nothing better than a blank piece of paper and brand new felts! Anyways after I got the kids set up I went to go do my dishes. Standing there at the sink I hear Breanna say::

B- What's your favorite Color, Shay?

S- (no answer)

B- What's your favorite Color, Shay? I want to make a picture for you, what's your favorite color?

S- Uh....(long silence as he's pondering)...The color of candy.

B- Pffft. Candy IS NOT a COLOR, Candies are all different colors

S- I know! They're all my favorite colors, All the candies!

* I LOVE overhearing this stuff *

But I think Shay was really onto something deep there. He's like me in a lot of ways and can think abstract. I think that's cool! So for the past few days of misery it has come across my mind a few times and I really do think a lot of Candies have way cool colors! For example:

Double bubble bubblegum with the cartoon inside: That's a really nice pink. But as with the flavor, the color doesn't last either.

* Unless of course you fix that, like me, by similtaneously chewing 38 pieces of it at one time to try to either make OR break some kind of record. Seriously. In Grade 12. Besides the obvious facial pain I felt for a week, the sugarwedges up my gums, almost choking to death because I had to leave most of it hanging down the back of my throat just to chew what was in my mouth... Hey it was fun! It was high school. You do those kinds of things when you're young. Erin and I both did it, and tried to convince our teacher that we couldn't spit it out because we were going to keep going, but she made us toss our wads. She put the garbage can at the front of our row and made us walk to it. The class was pretty much silent- we had the peer support, I think everyone was kinda sad our record breaking dreams would be quashed, and an even deeper silence as each wad hit the bottom of the metal can with a solemn "Gong". Anyways, my teeth were that awesome color of pink for dayyys!

Blue Whales: That's "Summer" Blue! And a cool color to wear or color with!

Green Lifesavers: It's just a happy, pretty green, and it's kinda seethrough and shiny after you start to eat it

Jolly Ranchers, Cherry Red: A nice dark, rich red, like passion

Well I could go on, but I actually have things I need to get done before the peeps need to be picked up. But if you can think of some cool candy colors let me know, maybe I'll make a project out of this.

Eclipse

I was hoping to see this tonight but got so wrapped up in cleaning my house that I forgot to even try to view it, I heard we wouldn't probably see it at all here. The one at the end of the month will best be seen by the west coast so I might have better luck then. The last time I remember an eclipse was when I lived in Abbotsford. I was driving to Seven Oaks Mall and I heard on the radio that it was happening, so I found a place to pull over. I just turned off the car and my cell rang, it was James. I asked him if he was watching and he said yes he was out in his yard. At that moment we both burst into a rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart and had a then we had a good laugh. It's actually the only eclipse I *remember* seeing since I was little and had to wear those freaky classes the schools handed out, but I'm sure that was a solar eclipse anyway. We had to watch a movie in class that put fear into every child in the class of looking directly into the light. Except me. I didn't appreciate it much then and I did sneak a look up at it, eyes squinted cus the glasses were too dark and I wanted to see what it really looked like. Cory G. told me I'd go blind. I guess I was a rebel at heart even at that tender age.

Dolphin Boat

I think my nephew Gabe would LOVE this boat!

haha.nu

Men!

Remember: If you light a man a fire, you warm him for the night.

If you light a man ON fire, you warm him for the rest of his life.

Puke-O-Rama!!

Last night was a nightmare! The kids and I haven't been feeling well for days. We all went to the doctor on Wednesday night. Ty got perscribed some cough medicine and the doc said it was a viral bug that would pass. Well it passed all right. I had sent Ty to grandmas because I thought he was the worst and didn't want us all to get the sore throat and the kids and I crawled into bed at 8:00. At about 2 am, with my stomach in the kinks and headache from hell I just started to drift off when Shay woke me up with the curdling screams "I puked on my blanket". I got up, helped him hurl the rest in the toilet and cleaned up his bed, floor, hallway and bathroom where he missed the toilet... and brought him to the living room to lay on the couch and watch a movie with a big bucket. Ugh! So then I TRIED to go back to bed, not 20 minutes later, my puke-levy broke, I hurled my guts out for about 1/2 an hour and then went back to try to lay down and rest my tummy. Well not long after I heard Breanna FREAKING out, she puked too! So I go out into the living room where Shay was and there's Breanna....COVERED in puke, smushed all over her hair, face, clothes, couch, floor and some in Shays bucket!! EEP! So I threw her in the shower, cleaned up the couch, floor, hallway, bucket and clothes and went and sat with them. It was horrible. By this time it was 5:00 in the morning. It was SO FREAKING horrible. I am so tired. I just woke up at noon, went into the living room and there was MORE puke in the puke bucket. Breanna claimed it so I made her go dump it. (Sorry baby girl!) Well at least Tyler is feeling better...

Thoughts about Stuff

Showing off my dads' Stained Glass Project

My dad has taken up a few hobbies since his retirement, and he has made this amazing piece. You can't see from this pic, but all the glass have different textures that totally go with the theme...The big cactus is kind of reflective and is kinda pitted...very cool!

It seems like a Monday, I'm not sure why but not much is going today. I've been goin out of my head trying to get an order form onto the website I'm working on... It sounds sooo simple...but it hasn't been. It's all about CGI Scripts, and right now 'CGI' is a word...abbreviation... I never want to see again. I searched for the order form template I wanted for days. I figured I could just get a free one off the net. But it had to be compatible with TELUS. Then I found out I could only use one of the lame ones they provided. So I did the best I could with what I had and uploaded to server and it doesn't work. I've been on the phone with Telus for hours on end and after the third call yesterday they decided to take this to the "next level" and have "Tech" take over. I asked if it was because of a mistake I had made and they said no, so that is a plus. So then I stumble upon this website CGI Scripts for Fun... and thought Hey, I'll just figure out how to write my own.

Think about that commercial of the lady and man eating breakfast...And then her husband shreiks madly as he reads the "Psyllium" label on the box of cereal. (I laugh EVERY time)

Well I screamed that same scream in my head as I began to read. But I wasn't laughing. I think I'd have a better shot at learning Korean in the time frame I have to get this done. Maybe it's time to upgrade my computer skills. Big sigh. I just hope this is all over soon.

I also realized of late that skating is not my "thing". Family Day was great, but I've been paying for it big time, I've hardly been able to move all week. Luckily the car share with my mom is working, I have a vehicle to use 4 days a week. The kids walked the 5 blocks to school today for the first time in weeks, and it was like the end of the world!! I get so tempted to tell them "when I was young" stories but I won't. Kids nowadays get it soooo good and they have no idea! But maybe the walking will serve as a reminder.

I did get a haircut this week, too. I got a good trim...and bangs. I still don't know what I think yet, It's just so different. I think they just need a week or two so they grow out a tad. That always helps.

But I've got to go, my house is in a messy CHAOS! ...Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. And my bathroom sink is plugged, gag me with a spoon, I have to try to clean it out. And get this website working. Wish me luck ...please!

Time to grab the neighbor's cat...

I got these photos from my friend Adam...

The book these came from said some of the paint jobs cost $15,000 and had to be repeated every 3 months as the cat's hair grows out. Must be nice to have $60,000 a year just to keep your cat painted!

Family Day!

Today the kids, Craig and I all went to Hawerlak Park to go skating and to spend some time with my family. It was the most beautiful morning, not cold with lots of blue sky, just perfect! Here is me and my sis Jillybean.

Shay and I preparing to head out onto the ice. His skating skills are still sketchy, he fell and hurt himself 3 or 4 times, then sat out for a long time. Then he found his boots and had a blast playing in the snow which was perfect for snowmen and snowballs. I think it went up to plus 4.

Me and Craig

Happy Valentines' Day!

Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much perfoms much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.

Vincent Van Gogh

THINGS THAT I LOVE:

• Seeing my kids happy and smiling
• My awesome boyfriend
• My family
• Learning something new
• The rush you get after you do something you're terrified of
• To laugh and be laughed at
• Seeing my artwork in the "real world"!
• Safeway bakery Chocolate Chip Cookies!
• Fashionable boots
• Working at something you really love to do
• Extra large double doubles and cherry cheese danishes
• Loud music when I'm working
• A good word play/big words
• Intellect
• Summer
• Austin Powers in "Goldmember"- Very hill-air!

This past year has been a rollercoaster and a lot of times a nightmare. To my family and friends left standing I just want to say I love you all and I couldn't have gotten through it without you.

Any Suggestions?

My hair is a frizzy disaster. It's getting really long, it's now about half way down my back, but I think I need a change...A color lift? (Brown is getting boring) Bangs and a trim? Streaks again? Idaknow. Any ideas out there?

Another Joke

Q: Why do elephants drink so much?

A: To try to forget.

:)

Life Changes

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and where I am supposed to be. And the thing is I really don't have a clue. Once in a while I get this big blast of optimism and clarity but that is only at the times when I am powerless to make a change or go a certain direction. For every piece of good news in my life there is a parallel negative that stands in the way of me of going anywhere at all. Most of the time things are completely backwards. Just off the top of my head, I've got some work to keep me going for a few months, and I get to work from home but physically, it kills me. Literally. My back is broke. I was told I need an MRI then to bring those results to a specialist, well, they booked the specialist for April and the MRI for June. Okee dokey. Meanwhile, I have rent to pay. And I don't feel like I am ever going to get ahead and to know I have to live in this pain for even one more day is depressing. And I have to wait til the end of June to get some answers. 5 months!! Sigh. That is only one example, probably the biggest example of the backwardity in my life. I just invented that word. But amidst the daily angst I sometimes stumble into or onto someone or something that truly inspires me and reminds me there is a higher purpose and along with that some hope. And last week I was inspired by a little girl. I'll just say go to the website and see for yourself. I have a CNN video clip and will add the link but for now...

http://www.artakiane.com

She's truly astounding, and I'm rendered speechless. Anyway that's all for now. I've vented. And I have work to do. :) So bye for now.

Funny Videos

I went to veryfunnyads.com this morning and saw some hillarious videos.

Here are a few links to my favorites:

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24905.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25001.html http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24753.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24745.html

PICTURES! YIPEE!

Tyler on a ride at Galaxyland, West Ed Mall

Breanna and her buddy at the school Christmas concert.

That's me on Christmas Day!

AWWW! Shay with his Santa hat

Here's the kids at Halloween. Tyler won a contest at school for the ETS driver. Thanks, grandpa!!

Funnies

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods."What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out to the Lord.

Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?

"The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen."

Cute Dog Joke

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence. "She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy? "The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Chihuahua.He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says ... (ok this is good) Liver alone. Cheese mine."

Positive Thinking

When you feel that nobody loves you, Nobody cares for you, Everyone ignores you, And people are jealous of you, You should really ask yourself... "Am I TOO sexy?"

Year of sevens

This is a tatoo design I'm working on for my friend Booie. He's from NFLD and wanted a tat of an eagle. The fish is red, blue and yellow, like the newfie flag.

I have been saying for a long time that 2007 will be my year. Because of the "7" thing in my life, all major events have happened in 7's and intervals of 7 years. This year my birthday is even on 7/7/7. I've decided I'm going to Vegas for that, and even though I was wayyyy too lucky the last time I was there, I have a good feeling about it. This year has been going like a rollercoaster. Huge ups. I had court on January 16th for the ahole who was breaking into my house. It went well. I went completely prepared to testify and wanted him to get jail time. They kept us separated, shuffling us in and out of the courtroom, and finally, his lawer came out of the room and into the lobby. He said "hey look, this judge is going to hammer him really hard. It looks like jail time...Is there any way you'd consider a Peace Bond". I said "no, I don't think so. He's never even admitted the truth, even when confronted with the evidence, and he's never said sorry. So, no!" He asked me to wait and a few minutes later he came back and said M would take responsibility and apologize, and I could decide on some of the conditions. So I agreed. All I wanted from M was the truth, from his lips. And I got it. And also got to see him brought down and broken, red as a lobster, sweat rolling off his forehead, twitching and shaking in front of the judge and a room full of men in suits. Mr big and tough guy who's not afraid of anything or anyone looked terrified. And I was cool and collected as a cucumber, I even didn't accept his first 2 apologies but he got it right on the 3rd attempt. Anyways, all said and done, he's still not getting away lightly. He has to keep the peace and be of good behavior for a year. That's gonna be a tricky one for him. And I have one more whole year of a no- contact order, so I don't have to worry about him coming around anymore, which I am sure I took care of for good on court day, because I'm sure he hates me forever for how I stood up to him that day. Victory for me. Yay!! I've even got some more work coming in. I'm going to be doing 3 websites. It hurts my head to think about it but it's work and it's money, and working mostly from home is also a bonus. And in a few weeks I have another job opportunity but it's still kinda iffy so I'll update on that later. I also just got my very first child support payment on Feb 1st. 2 years and a huge lawyer bill later. But that was a big event. Sadly for my kids I am not convinced the rest of the payments will let come let alone on time, but I guess we'll see. But another victory for me...Yay again! Other than that my rollercoaster has had a few downs, but I'm trying to deal. I had a bunch of good, but then got some pretty scary news about my health. I didn't take it very well at all the first few days but I gotta keep reminding myself that things have a funny way of working out and I guess I'm holding onto that. The peeps are all doing good. Tyler has really taken to skating this year and often goes down to the community rink. Craig even takes him sometimes. Shay is only concerned with his best buddy Jayden and spends all his time there, and Breanna is sweet and smart as usual. I'll have to upload some pics when I have more time. I'm going to end with my new favorite joke.... Lifesavers A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of Lifesavers. The children began to say: red............cherry," Yellow.........lemon," Green..........lime," Orange.........orange," Finally the teacher gave them all honey Lifesavers. After eating them none of the children could identify the taste. Well," she said, "I'll give you all a clue; It's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"

Before and after you fall in love!

BEFORE - You take my breath away AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating BEFORE - Twice a night AFTER - Twice a month BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever AFTER - Monday Night Football BEFORE - Don't stop AFTER - Don't start BEFORE - Is that all you're having? AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey BEFORE - It's like I'm living in a dream AFTER - It's like he lives in a dorm BEFORE - $60/doz. AFTER - $1.50/stem BEFORE - Turbocharged AFTER - Jumpstart BEFORE - We agree on everything AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? BEFORE - Victoria's Secret AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom BEFORE - Charming and Noble AFTER - Chernobyl BEFORE - Feathers and handcuffs AFTER - Ball and chain BEFORE - Idol AFTER - Idle BEFORE - I love a woman with curves AFTER - I never said you were fat BEFORE - He's completely lost without me AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions? BEFORE - Time stood still AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino AFTER - Bagel and instant BEFORE - You look so seductive in black AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing BEFORE - Oysters AFTER - Fishsticks BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you BEFORE - Passion AFTER - Ration BEFORE - Once upon a time AFTER - The end

THAT CHICKEN AGAIN

Why it crossed the road:

Jessica Simpson: Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean? Homer Simpson: There was free beer on the other side of the road. Homer Simpson 2: Because they're stupid that's why! Why does anybody do anything? Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Snoop Dogg: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'. Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. (former) Iraq Information Minister: There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Johnny Cochran: Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit. Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? Chuck Norris: Because I threw it. Jack Bauer: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette. O.J. Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. Jack Nicholson: You WANT that chicken on the road. You NEED that chicken on the road. You're just too much of a chicken to be on that road YOURSELF! Bill Gates: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road. The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that. Mel Gibson: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew?? Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Massive Internal Hemorraging!

From: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

This may be my final post for a while. I've been having really bad computer issues, I almost gave up, and I have resolved the issue enough to get online, but I can't run any of my programs. I'm going on about 5% free disc space right now and everything is so unstable...it really sucks! And I can't do any work which is the worst part. The last few days have felt kinda lonely and empty, my hands feel restless, it's a strange feeling to actually miss something that is cold and lifeless. Maybe that's telling me I'm way too attached and I need to take a break. I don't know... I haven't had a very good week. I failed the bus road test on Tuesday...the whole thing was a bad experience and has left me with some trust issues. The thing is, I didn't really feel like I was ready for the test and I told my instructor that at least 3 times. I had 4 days of road training and I didn't have a problem with the driving part it was putting the procedures together with the driving and practicing doing it all together that I didn't get the chance to do. And I didn't feel confident, I even told my instructor what I thought my weak points were, and he ppfftt'ed me and said I was ready. Well, those things were the things I did wrong when it came down to it. There were things on the test that were never even brought to my attention, and the government test guy, excuse my vowel language, was an A-HOLE!! ha ha. I just made that up! Anyways, he wasn't even supposed to talk to me during the test, and at one point he actually made me pull over and told me he's been doing this testing for 16 years and he couldn't believe I went to the test not knowing the proper procedures. And before we left, he had said that he would be testing me on a railway crossing, he didn't know which kind, controlled /uncontrolled country etc, I had to do the proper procedure for the one we went to. So all fine, it ended up being an uncontrolled. I put the bus in neutral, put on the parking brake, shut down the noise, opened the window and the door, listened and looked, told him it was safe to proceed and I was going to do so, I did everything right! And he failed me because I should have told him that had there been an obstructed view of the tracks, that I should have told him the procedure for that, which means taking out the keys and getting off the bus, blah blah blah. SO THAT IS CRAP!! I did the proper procedure for the tracks he brought me to, which was his original instruction. And to top it off, he even wrote on the test at the end that I DIDN'T OPEN THE DOOR OF THE BUS AT THE TRAINTRACKS WHICH IS ALSO BULLCRAP!!!! So now I am out $65 for the test that I wasn't even ready for and for the first time in a long time I have failed. And I think he even got pleasure out of telling me at the end, while pointing out the huge x on the results section of the test paper with his shiny pen, "YOU FAILED!!!"! And I am angry that I was put out there for the test when I told him I didn't feel confident and told him I needed extra time. I didn't ever take the position lightly, I would be responsible for many little tiny lives. It really bothers me that people don't listen to me!! I know myself. I know my limitations and I know my needs. And I'm not trying to lay blame, but I'm saying for the record that the results were indicitive of the training. I did my best and everyone is telling me to jump back in and take it again but I'm hestitant to work for a place that would try to put me out on the road test when I had less than 10 hours of training and never even picked up or used the radio. I think that is a safety issue in itself. So, I am just taking some time to think about it. I don't know what I should do. I might try going to another bus company. We'll see. What I really want to do is work from home but it's just not possible unless I get a new computer I can rely on. Life isn't fair sometimes.

Well, I'm not going to end this off on a sour note...

Here's a joke !!

An Italian Gentleman

A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, "No, I Norwegian."

Ahhh!

I'm taking my class 2 road test tomorrow at 9:30 am!!!!

(Wish me luck....please!!! I'm a little nervous! Not with my driving skills, but with all the procedures!)

Gordon, my instructor, says I'm ready - so I'm sure I am, but being slightly perfectionist, I mess up when I get nervous or do something wrong...that's what worries me...

but check back tomorrow for the results, I'll let y'all know how it goes!

Words of Wisdom...and an Angel!

Tomorrow is not a promise...

It is a chance!

This morning I was reading Chars blog, and lately she has been sharing stories about angel encounters. So I thought I'd share one of mine!

A long time ago when I was about 19 years old, I was working alone as a cashier at a Petro Canada gas station. It was a Friday night and the customers were streaming in so steadily that I didn't even have time to sit down and take a coffee break. I was grumbling and tired, everytime I tried to grab a coffee or have a smoke break I was instantly interrupted and couldn't wait for my shift to end, or the customers to stop, whichever came first.

Finally, a bit of rest came. I walked out the door into the darkness and saw one of the employees from the video store that adjoining our building and he was walking my way, grim look on his face. I told him if he wanted anything he would have to wait until I was done my smoke. He looked at me kinda funny and said "You are SOOO lucky!"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

This was his response:

"You were just THIS close to having a gun shoved in your face!"

He explained that a few minutes earlier, when the store was still spewing customers, he had just been told to take his break, so he came over to hang out with me.

As he left the building, he saw 2 old friends that he hadn't seen in a long time hanging out around the corner outside of the station, and they had a gun. They told my friend that they were waiting outside the store because they were planning on robbing me, but there were so many people coming in and out they were still waiting for their chance. I guess they even said how they would shove the gun in my face and scare me. Well my friend/neighbor told them right away, "NO! Not Wendy, I know her! Don't do this to her", and somehow he managed to talk them into leaving empty handed. But these 2 guys had been waiting for hours, and were split seconds away from carrying out their plan.

So my friend Chris was my angel that day, he came outside at exactly the moment they were on their way in to rob me, or possibly worse...I get goosebumps to this day. I often wonder...what would have happened if he hadn't have been at the right place at the right time!

Cool Pic!

This wicked picture was taken in the desert from overhead. If you look closely at the picture, the camels are actually white and what you are looking at are actually their shadows.

It feels like winter!

What a cruel way to be woken up...freezing rain and a brisk wind. Not a good combination when your kids ride bikes to school. The inevitability of the box coming out is killing me! I mean the box that is full of jackets, snowpants, boots, mittens, hats, scarves, gloves, in which there is 50 of everything and nothing that matches even remotely. When this box comes out of my closet I can kiss my floors goodbye. Nice to know ya, see you in the spring! Well actually my vacuum is broken right now so maybe this will work out in some weird kind of way. There was snow forecasted for today and I am praying it won't, because I'm supposed to do another round of bus driver training at 9am tomorrow. Snow is the LAST thing I need! For many reasons. Actually, my driver training is going very well. I've only had 2 days on the road so far, but I'm pretty comfortable. And I only have to do the test in the big bus, then I'll have a small one to drive on a regular basis. My instructor wants me to take the road test on Monday, I said we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I still need to practice pulling close enough to the curb, and I tell ya, pulling 6-8 inches from the curb in a big bus exactly parallel in the front and back is not that easy. I think I made like 3 out of 10 attempts...but I can do it, I just need more practice. Other than that not much else is new. The kids are back into their routine, and have actually been TIRED at bedtime...this is good! Some sanity has returned to our home. I am also in a great place in my personal life and feel very lucky to have a great relationship! The first time I made him dinner, I got burnt making french fries in oil, one of the fries exploded right on my wrist as I dropped it in the cooker...to this day I still have this scar in the shape of a heart! Is this a sign??

The wheels of the bus go round and round...

Yesterday I did my first driving lesson on the school bus! Gordon, my instructor picked me up at my house. He had me do an inspection and then told me to hop in the drivers' seat and head back to the bus yard. Now, I've never driven a bus before and I was all, like "HUH!!". I figured I would do some practicing in an empty ol lot or something first and I was quite unprepared for this request. However, without much hestiation I jumped into the drivers seat and snapped into my seatbelt. I did really well, I only hit one or two curbs trying to navigate my turning radius and there were no little children that were in immediate danger at any time. Yay me! It was kinda strange at first being eye to eye with truckers on the Yellowhead, but that was kinda neat at the same time, It's a whole different perspective up there. So Gordon only gasped at my driving twice, and I spent about 4 hours getting used to the bus, I'm doing Country and Railroad crossings training today and I'll probably practice a little more on the backing up. Anyway, I'm feelin pretty good about taking the test in a few days, so I'll update more later.

I am so knowlegable!

Today I went and wrote the written *knowledge exam* for my class 2 license...

Yay me, I passed!!

That means as soon as I pass the road test I will be a School Bus Driver.

Wow.

Eye Candy

• Digital photo restorations
• Signs
• Corporate Identity
• Office Forms
• Web graphics
• Web design
• Illustrations &
• Animations

Links to the websites I have designed:

http://www.kithncousin.com

http://www.keyholeministry.com

Motherly Woes

The First Day of School I walked my daughter to her class and being that I dropped the boys off first, by the time we got there Breannas classmates were almost all there, only 2 empty desks remained.

As I walked in I noticed the boy to the left.

He claimed Breanna as his woman last June and made no secret to hide it around me. The kid must wear holes in his retinas staring her down whenever she's around, and I wondered if it would perchance happen that he'd be around again this year.

Well Breanna walked in the door and the kids face went like, blank. his eyes locked on Breanna who was scanning the room for her desk. She was pretending not to notice him, acting completely oblivious to everything and everyone around her, red face flushed.

So then I notice that of the 2 empty desks in the room, Breanna is right next to the boy. The teacher was already starting to talk to the class. I kept telling Breanna to come and sit down but she kept saying "HUH!??" "Hurry up!" I told her, "The teacher is already starting!" Then she walked in a circle, saying she didn't know where her desk was. I pointed it out, and she looked... trying so hard not to even look at the boy but I could tell her heart was pounding, SHE KNEW!! I've never seen her get flustered like that.

Well, she went and sat down, I lingered at the door for a minute, because I wanted to see her face when their eyes finally would meet...but she was cool as a cucumber, hands folded neatly in front of her, eyes fixated on the teacher. "Darn," I thought and turned and walked out the door. But as soon as I closed the door behind me, I quickly turned and snapped a picture through the window just hoping for a nice candid shot of the class.

Well, this is the result:

Get this!

By the time I had closed the door behind me, Breanna is already turned towards him, finger twirling her hair. He's leaned right over and there are (count them) 6 other kids staring at them who are STARING AT EACH OTHER!!

I stood and watched them for another minute and then had to walk away, shaking my head. Later on that night, I asked her "So does *J* still think you're his woman?" She says "Weeeell, YA! Actually he does!". I smiled and teased, "Just remember, NO KISSING". "Ewww", she said and squinched up her nose. "You are a good girl", I said! Then I asked "So what would you do if *J* kissed you?"

She said "I would do NOTHING!"

I asked "You would do nothing? And just let him kiss you?"

And she just smiled all slyly. She said she was joking but after seeing the picture I'm really quite sure that I'm not convinced.

Extraordinarily bad luck

Two nights ago I was watching a show about this guy who filmed bears and spent most of his life and time out in the wild getting to know all about them, and eventually this guy was eaten by a huge, mean bear that he had seen around and tried to "befriend"... There were a few people there and I offhandedly remarked that would be the "Crocodile Hunter" one day... Well this morning as I read the internet news I found that is exactly what happened. Steve Irwin was killed by a deadly stingray that pierced his ribcage and through his heart. "While excruciatingly painful, stings are rarely fatal, Collin said. Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart. "It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said." I guess you just can't tame mother nature. Or think you can control it. Or however you wanna put it...These guys went up against the odds and some of the deadliest creatures that roam this earth. Out of love...or passion...or the adrenaline rush when you do something you're scared to do...whatever the reason they did it and they ended up dying doing it. I started to ask myself why people would do these kinds of things and then I thought about me! I've done crazy dangerous things. Skydiving was one of them, probably 24 hours on a mountain alone was another. Add in hitchhiking when I was younger and really really naive, running away with my friend Jenn and staying in the Dover Hotel (which was like a biker bar when we were like 14 or 15), Doing 14 Whisky shooters in a row and drinking straight from the 60 oz bottle the second time I got drunk. I think I did clinically die the next day, but I had to go to work.. (I guess some higher up thought that my position as Salad Bar Girl couldn't go unstationed because here I am today!) I even think my ex marriage could also go into this catagory of crazy stupid dangerous things. And the more I think about it I could go on for days. Is this any different from what the Crocodile Hunter did...Other than the fact that I have never like, baited myself for attraction and went into a murky croc swamp to wrestle and subdue a 14 foot monster, or walked barefoot around poisonous snakes, or jumped into a pool of stingrays. I've pushed my own limits, and though I had a bad spell of it for a while, I have refused to, and have not succumbed to fear. I just HOPE this doesn't make me a target, like those other guys. RIP Crocodile Hunter!!

Why I love Taylor

I recently posted Ode to T-dot...well this is a story I took from her blog cus I wanted to share my laugh with everyone...Taylor is very blunt and doesn't take crap from ANYONE! "Well... I'm kinda rethinking my move to a small town. Today I was out for an appointment, and there was a ... dissheveled looking man who I would guess to be in his 50's. Actually he kinda reminded me of Hulk Hogan, platinum hair and all... except this guys hair was longer I think, and he wasn't buff and he was dirty. Anyhow... The guy was telling the lady at the desk that he couldn't stay for his appointment because he had another appointment that he had to go to... but could his cousin ( a woman who looked like she crawled out of a dumpster) stay for the appointment instead of him. The lady at the desk said no. So Hulk went outside, then in he came again... he was upset because they just didn't understand and could he speak to a manager. Well the manager comes out and is listening to the man ( and at this point I am totally captured by this odd display) and the manager stops the man and says... "Wait, now, is this your cousin or your wife?" and the man replies, very exasperated......... BOTH!!!!!!She's my cousin and my wife. Well... I couldn't take it... I burst out laughing... which was very rude, but I just couldn't help it. Now I am laughing HARD, like stomach hurt kinda laugh. And this man looks at me, looks over to his cousin-wife and says "Babies having babies". Well that got me going even harder, and now Kayden (my son) is starting to laugh too. I am now crossing my legs for fear of wetting my pants, clutching my stomach and crying and not even making noise I am laughing so hard... Somehow I manage to get out the words... (this was very brazen-even for me) "H-h-how d-do you circumcise a r-r-edneck?" Then a young man who was also sitting and waiting, says "Kick his cousin in the chin!" Well, now I lose it... I am struggling to breathe, I mean really gasping for air... and I'm not gonna lie... I think a little pee came out. So then the manager who is standing there with a professional expression on his face cracks a smile, and starts to giggle... yes, the manager who should stay professional was giggling. Well Hulk and Dumpster Lady stomp out, clearly offended. After they leave the manager comes over to me... which at this point I am sprawled back over the chair going "Oh God... No more.. it's hurts... no more!" And asks if I need a glass of water... which at that point was even funnier. I needed about 20 minutes to calm down before I could even speak. But it wasn't just me laughing... some of the girls in the back came out to see what the commotion was about, so the manager takes them back and tells them... and all I know is they went back there, then about 3 minutes later, I heard about 10 people erupt in laughter. God.. that was PRICELESS!!! It is now 2 hours later, and my stomach still hurts. This was the single most funniest thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. And there I was with out a video camera... damn!"

Too funny Tay, wish I was there...you rock!

Me!? A Bus Driver??

Today I'm going to a job interview...

For none other than a... School Bus Driver.

Go figure. My neighbor has been trying to talk me into it for months, so I thought I'd give it a try. Can you see it? I mean, I have a flawless driving record, and I have driven just about everything else, but I never thought I'd drive a bus.

I'm sure I'll have LOTS of stories...kids say and do the most priceless things.

My boyfriend said if I get this job he can call me "Otto", and I told him if he did, well, lets just say it wouldn't be pretty.

One time, he said if he was a pirate, he would want me to be his Salty Sea Squaw...and I was a little offended, but he assured me it was in the most affectionate of context...but lets just say I would prefer salty sea squaw over Otto!

Anyhoo...Wish me luck, I'd imagine they want me to start next week when most schools start here...

Hopefully this won't be me...

But officer it was an emergency...They all

said they needed to pee, I HAD to find a

bathroom, fast!

I'll let you know how it goes! :)