Vow of Silence

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence. One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, “I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!” Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days. The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, “I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!” Once again, silence ensued for 365 days. The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, “I am fed up with this constant bickering!”

Potato Story

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going outand getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just A COMMON TATER!

MEXICAN HACKER

Caramba!

BUENOS DIAS!!! JOU HABE YUST RECEIBED A MEHICAN BYRUS. SIN WE NO HABE GOOD TECHNIOLOGICAL ADBANCES IN MEHICO, DEES IS A MANUAL BYRUS.

PLEESE DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW.

TANK JOU FOR HALPING ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ-GARCIA

----MEXICAN HACKER---

Trip to Stettler

Last Saturday mom took the kids and I to go visit Jill, Jay & the kids and see their ranch. It was beautiful, peaceful and quiet.

I caught up on some reading (celebrity gossip magazines), lounged while the kids played and we had a fire before bed. What a nice little break! I even had brooke lead me on a little trot on Bandit.

Thanks Jilly, we have to do this more often!

"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave."Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied "No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us." Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening. The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Like the others, he then heard an answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!" With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read .....NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

Labels

An interesting read about kids and labels, click to view enlarged.

As the saying goes...

Talent Show

Today I went to the kids' talent show at school to watch Breanna perform her Spice Girls Routine. It was too cute! (She's the one with the white hat on the right!)

Though I left at intermission I got quite a few chuckles, It was quite entertaining.

Maybe I have a star in the making!

Another Birthday Come and Gone

Yesterday was Shays 7th birthday!

We didn't have a huge party but he had some friends over for cake after supper

(and grandma came too!)

I can't believe he's 7!

Cute or what?

Blonde Joke

A blonde female traffic cop stops a blonde for speeding "Can I see your licence? "The blonde rummages in her handbag. "I can't find it. What's it looks like?" "It's square and it's got your picture on it. "The blonde finds her mirror and peers into it. "Ah, here it is. "She gives it to the cop. She looks into it and says: "I didn't realise you were in the force, honey. You can go. Have a nice day."

For a good laugh go to:

http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/21750

Smile!

My personality test results

ESTP -- Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving-- The Adventurer Adventurous, dramatic, active... and sometimes reckless, ESTPs have a flair for fast-living. If they aren't leaping out of a plane, climbing a mounting or hacking a path through the jungle, they're likely be sulking in their living room wondering what they're going to do next. ESTPs are highly competitive and are always looking for a chink in an opponent's armor -- even when that opponent is a close friend. They're exciting, fun and full of life, exactly the kind of people who make you realize that there's always another goal to achieve, another trail to beat and another part of the world to be explored. While ESTPs can be tiring to be around, and their desire to always finish first can be irritating to some, their love of the dramatic usually makes them great company, their enthusiasm is infectious and their straight-talking attitude is always welcome. With more zest than a bag of lemons, ESTPs are full of life... and live for adventure. They're happiest when they're hanging from a cliff, snowboarding down a mountain or running in Pamplona. And then telling you about it.

The Lonely Brain Cell

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet."Hello?" she cried, but no answer."Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..."We're down here.........

Can't wait to go camping!

I have the greatest boyfriend!

This summer Craig is taking the kids and I to meet his sister and go camping in Elkford BC. I can't wait!! Besides my trip last summer I haven't been anywhere in ages!!

One Time- A Story of True Love

In the summer of 2005, I was in Abbotsford BC and I was packing up for the move back to Edmonton. The flies out there were terrible, huge and really really loud and they weren't afraid of confrontation! I don't know how but one day they were all over my place. They were so bad I put up some fly strips and continued packing.

There were 2 flys I just could not kill. They buzzed all around, like they were playing, all around me, flying right into my hair and buzzing around in circles (In my hair!) They were driving me nuts. This went on for quite a while.

Finally, one of them caught a little leg on one of the fly strips. It was buzzing so loud I couldn't figure out if it really was the fly or something outside. I went over to look and the second one, who had evaded the death trap was on the end of the cupboard about 2 inches away and it was as if they were talking to each other, back and forth and back and forth.

Over the next few hours the stuck flys' buzz got smaller and smaller until the last dying breath and tiny leg jerk. And the other fly did not move the whole time. It must have been love.

I thought AWWW! The other fly sat there until the very end and in a way I thought it was cute so I went and grabbed my camera. After the flash went off, he became enraged and started flying at me again and as I snapped a few pictures he seemed to get angrier. It was as if he wanted revenge. Though I respect the effort... he was no match for me and my newspaper.

His family can take comfort in knowing his tragically poetic death made the headlines.

(For you, Aunty Trudy!)

But of COURSE??

I got the weirdest phone call the other day!

Apparently I left my mark on someone many years ago... Someone (a guy) I barely remember from my youth is trying to get a hold of me, because he has a friendship ring for me that he's been holding onto since he moved away in 1989. I would have been 16!

Of course I got the call while Craig and I were having a fairly nice evening together, and after the last blast from the past incident with Craig, he doesn't know what to think but he's obviously not very pleased about it.

I told the person just to say they couldn't get a hold of me when the guy called back because I don't even know what to think about it. That was like 18 years ago and sadly, I can't even place his face exactly. And for the life of me I don't even remember being more than an aquaintance. I guess he was only back in town for a few days, so he's probably gone already but honestly I'm a bit curious, but not sure if I should be flattered or worried. You know my luck with the freaky-deaks!

What would you have done?

UPDATE!

After days of trying to remember who this person was, I decided to call my sister to see what she remembered about the guy and lo and behold HE'S A CONVICTED KILLER. Hmmm. Who woulda thunk.

Seriously. I'm not joking. Whattheheck. Why me? And after all these years? Actually I take that back, I don't wanna know.

Now I've been stuck in memory lane back to when I was 16...

Yes this is me, scary huh?

This is about as 80's as you can get. Notice the AquaNet helmet hair, baggy clothes, big dangly earrings and the staple of every girl, gleaming white slouch socks. I was probably even listening still to the Bangles and Tiffany tapes I got for Christmas.

Nice hair!

Finally, an Update!

Ryan & Char

Me and little Seth

Shay & Gabe

Ty & Gabe

Shay, Emma, Breanna and Avery

Pictures of Ryan and Chars visit on May 7th, which also happened to be sweet Emmas birthday! Look at all of our adorable lil peeps! I love them all! We had a great (but short) visit but it was so good to see everyone!

Also, I am still slowly getting better but now I'm at the achy sore phase. I've been going to physiotherapy for a few weeks and that seems to be helping too but I imagine I still have a way to go. But I am so much better than pre-surgery and I'm glad I had it done. My foot is still bad, I'm still limping around, I'll be glad when everythings' back to normal. Whatever normal is.

Sometimes the truth hurts

Yesterday I went to Walmart to buy a new pair of shoes and also to exchange Tylers new jeans that I got him for his birthday. I found the cutest pair of sandals for like $12.00 and a pair of cheap canvas slip ons for $4.50 so I grabbed them, found the right size jeans for Tyler and headed over to customer service. I didn't have a long wait but the lady at the counter just LOOKED like she was having a bad day, and was just going through the motions, but not really there. First she refunded the jeans and then I told her I was buying the shoes so she rung them in. The difference was $2.23. Then she picked up the new jeans and put them in the bag saying "OK these were just exchanged", then turned, looked at me and said "that's $2.23". I knew right off the bat my shoes alone came to $16.00 or so and there was a slight difference in the jeans price so I had a $20 bill in my hand.I said (big sigh) "No...that is wrong!" She says, "nope that's right", then checks the reciept, and hands me the bag. Again, I said "No, that's wrong, it's not enough." She checked the receipt again, and says "nope that's right", I argued again. Then she rolled her eyes at me and sighed. I tried to explain she refunded me the money for the first pair of jeans but then didn't ring in the other pair, and the shoes alone ahould have been like $16.50. She could just not get it, and the people in the line behind me looked just pissed that I was holding up the line by arguing that I wasn't paying enough. You should have seen the looks. Anyways, I did the right thing and even though I could have paid a mere $2.23 for one pair of jeans, cute flip flops and tennis shoes I was an honest citizen. Then, I went to the truck where Craig was waiting and after I tell him he says "For someone who's so POOR you're a pretty honest person." Later on in the evening I was asked a question that I didn't want to answer, knowing this info would really hurt the other person. I was so tempted to twist my answer somehow, to not have to tell the truth and I froze... I did the right thing even knowing it could possibly change things. But it didn't feel the same as when I was honest about the Walmart purchase. Shouldn't doing the right thing always feel good?

I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!

-------------------------------------

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked, "And where were you when I got married?"

I'm bored!

I'm going crazy from boredom. I just played with photoshop for a while. Here's my latest creation.

More Seth Pics

What a handsome little guy!

Emma and Seth cuddling, Awwwww!

Career Cruisin

A few years ago I took a Career Desision Making Course in B.C and we were given access to this program that will match up your skills and intesests to a career that suits you.

According to a questionaire about my intesests, these are my top job matches.

Then I did another quiz about my skills and they told me which on the list below matches my intesests with the transferrable skills I already have. So these are my job matches: (the ones in purple are the top matches for skills)

1. Office Machine Repairer 2. Locksmith 3. Industrial Designer 4. Technical Writer 5. Website Designer 6. Interior Designer 7. Tilesetter 8. Exhibit Designer 9. Welder 10. Boilermaker 11. Desktop Publisher 12. Lobbyist 13. Sign Maker 14. Cabinetmaker 15. Security Systems Technician 16. Food Inspector 17. Immigration Officer 18. Fashion Designer 19. Potter 20. Craftsperson 21. Electronics Assembler 22. Animator 23. Model Maker 24. Jeweller 25. Cartoonist 26. Plumber 27. Electrician 28. Autobody Repairer 29. Criminologist 30. Pet Groomer 31. Sports Official 32. Multimedia Developer 33. Correctional Officer 34. Chef 35. Driving Instructor 36. Professor 37. Butcher 38. Cook 39. Elevator Installer and Repairer 40. Electronics Repairer

What do you think I should do once I recover?

Follow up

Follow up with Dr. Henderson

I had my follow up with the surgeon yesterday and he explained what happened with my back...

He said that the disc was very degenerated for my age and the disc itself had hardened & the disc space is very narrow. And the disc bulge wrapped up and over that bony part on the back of the spine and it was compressing my spine and nerves. (It probably looked more like the herniated disc in the picture above) That explains the hook like scar I have, too. He also said I have arthritis in my back, yikes, that makes me feel so old! Anyways, he also took more x-rays of my foot and recommended I wear a foot support for the next 6 weeks but everything is coming along fine. The hardest thing for me is to get my proper posture back, it's really hard because I'm still kinda hobbling on my foot. The underside still has a fairly tender black bruise and the top of my foot feels like it was crushed.

By the way, if you watched the UFC fight last weekend?? Well, the most recent one, where the guy got kicked in the face , and BAM instant KO!!! and he went straight down on his foot and it went the wrong way... well that's what happened to me!! I am sure, though I don't really remember the fall it would explain the big black bruise in my, uh, private personal area... and the bruise patterns on my foot also follow that theory. And how I landed. Anyways... I CRINGE every time I see a replay of that fight KO, it even hurts my foot to WATCH!! I feel for the guy. I wonder if he got a robo-boot too??

Message for Men!

I found this on the net, too funny!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."Men are much more susceptible to this scam; after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Seth

Just look at this sweet little face! This is my brand new little nephew and though I don't know when I'll ever be able to hold this little bundle I already love him with all my heart!!

Welcome to the family little one!!

Happy Birthday, Tyler!!

Tylers' 10th birthday party

We had 10 kids over for the party! What a headache when it was all over!

Shay and another guest, I can't remember all the names!

Breanna and her big sister! I haven't seen Linds in almost 4 years...She's all grown up and soooo beautiful!

Thank you God for little Seth!

IT'S A BOY!!

Seth Elijah Jackson

April 20, 2007

12:20 am

20 in, 6 lbs 14 oz

Prince George, BC

Congratulations Ryan and Char!

I can't wait to get pictures!!

This is REALLY Funny!!

Go to google.com

Click on Maps

Click "Get Directions"

get directions from: New York, New York

to: Paris, France

Then read line 24

teehee

Soon...Very soon!

My brother and his wife drove to Prince George today to have the baby, It was due today, but nothing was happening but Chars rising blood pressure, so they decided to induce. Yay Baby!! I can't wait to be an aunty again!! I'm saying prayers that everything will go good and the baby will be healthy and happy. I'll post pictures as soon as I can!

I love you Char!! Hang in there, it'll all be over soon!

Update

Well, the recovery process has been pretty rough but is now underway and I've been getting a bit better each day. I don't use the crutches anymore, I just wrap my foot up real tight, or if I go outside I have a nifty "Robo-Boot" air cast, which has been great. I took my first car ride to the south side this morning to go see my lawyer and mom bought breakfast at Timmys which was badly yearned for over the past week. Mmmm. Timmys coffee! It was just most of all great to get out of the house and do some of the things I needed to do. Shay ended up in emergency on Friday the 13th...The doctors were convinced he had contracted Hepatitis A but thank the Lord they ruled that out! He has something going on inside his small intestine. Tomorrow Shay and I see the doctor and hopefully his results are back so we can get him on medication if he needs it. He seems to be getting a bit better, but it's been off and on for 6 weeks straight and I'd like to see him back to his regular energetic chipper self for good. Tyler turns 10 next Monday, it's amazing how fast your babies grow up. I've decided to plan the absolute best party for him this weekend that I can but I still don't know what to get him. And more good news I am going to be an aunty any day now...I CAN"T WAIT!! I can't wait to meet this tiny little precious person and have some good and some excitement!! CHAR...DO THE MACARANA!! I SWEAR IT WORKS, JUST TRY IT!! Have a good day everyone!!

Standing Ovation Please!!

Well sad to say but I nominate myself for The Best Dummy of 2007 Awards!! The night that I got out of the hospital, I was feeling better than I thought I would, I apparently had a little too much morphine, and got up in the middle of the night to pee and walk around. I went into the living room to get the phone # for the hospital and on the way back to my room I totally passed out. I don't know what happened...I was fine one minute, and the next, I knew I was going down fast. The next thing I knew, Craig was trying to wake me up and called an ambulance. And my foot was throbbing unbelievably!! They took me back to the hospital where I had my surgery done and it was a nightmare!! They pretty much completely ignored me for 11 hours, (only giving me an x-ray on my foot and a percocet for the pain after being there for over 8 hours!).They finally came in and told me it wasn't broken or fractured, just badly sprained and bruised, but they Didn't feed me, give me blankets, help me to the bathroom, ask how I was doing... nothing. Finally I decided I was leaving and mom had to hound the staff to help get me some crutches or whatever so I could leave. So here I am, a total wreck. But my foot hurts worse than my back and I can get around pretty good with the crutches so I guess I have to look at it that way. I guess things could be worse but I don't dare say that out loud!

I'm Alliiiiive!

I made it! Phew. But that was definately the worst operation I have had to date, and the most painful. In every way! I got to the hospital for 10:30 am Monday morning but of course, in true medical fashion, it didn't actually happen until much later...by noon they had a bed and a room for me, which kinda surprised me because it was only a day surgery. But I figured at least I didn't have to sit on those sucky hard waiting room chairs! So I got pampered in a bed with warm blankets and pillows and Craig to keep me company. And we waited...and waited. Well not much longer then we were introduced to "Mrs. Mills"....the wailer! OMG! She had a creepy creaky crackly horror movie old lady voice and it started out "I have to go peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Somebody come, I have to go pe-he-he-he, WAAAAAAAAAAA! There'd be moments of silence then "Nobody cares about meeeeeeeee, I have to go peeeeeeeee, WAAA. So the first time the nurse came she asked what she needed and she said she wanted a MUFFIN. So the nurse leaves again, and she starts crying again, for way too long, this time screaming she had to go pee, but the nurse took so long to get there that she peed the bed. Then she wailed about that, rightfully so, but AHHHH! Anyways she wanted everything, she was cold, she couldn't reach something...whatever it was was wailed out in that scary voice. Finally at 4:00 the OR called for me. They brought me to the cold shiny room down the long hallway and left me parked in front of a wall full of clowns on tightropes paintings. I didn't much care for them but I ended up staring at them until after 5:00 because they were waiting for my surgery instruments which were apparently wayward. Then to the other cold shiny room with the lights when they were found. Now we were ready to go but the doctor was missing, so I watched them all get everything ready. I watched as the nurse asked for a #10 blade and put in in the scalpel and then set it on the tray. Not long after that the doctor came in and put the mask on me, put the dose in the IV and said "see you later" I knew as soon as he said it I'd go, I tried to last that extra second but it never worked...lights out. I think it was about 8:30 when I woke up, I don't remember much but my doctor came in and said I was staying overnight, a needle coming towards me, and Craig saying he was going to phone mom. I don't know when I woke up next but I was really hurtin and they gave me morphine and gravol like every two hours. The wailer wailed, the lady beside me kept waking up, it was not a good sleep. Anyways, they sent me home sometime after lunch time. I've been getting around but am definately tender and sore. But I made it, thanks for all the prayers, everyone. I'll write more later when I'm not so drugged up.

I'll be BACK!

In the bunny hutch at the farm

On Easter Monday I am going under the knife and having surgery on my back. I was pretty okay with the idea until about a half an hour ago when the hospital called to make the final arrangements. Hmm. Maybe final arrangements isn't the best phrase. Ok, called to make the final confirmation. Anyways, NOW I am nervous! But also excited that though it is not guaranteed, that I have the CHANCE to live a pain free life. That I'll be able to drive again without constantly looking for a place to pull over, or be able to sit through a TV show or a movie, pick something off the floor without tears in my eyes, to play with my kids, do laundry, walk normally again, be able to work... Anyhoo, I'm excited and scared, and I really really really really really hope that it works! My biggest fear so far was that I was told I would be Stapled back together and my regular doctor would be taking them out in a few weeks, but last night I talked to Belinda and she said it was nothing cus she's had them herself- so she made me feel a lot better. (Thanks Bee, I love you!) So I don't know how next week is going to be but I'll update as soon as I can. And I have lots of offers for help if I need it so thank you everyone. I love you all.

Happy Easter

Can you read this?

C D E D B D bunnies?

M R not E D B D bunnies!

O S A R! C D E D B D fluffy cottontails?

L I B! M R 2 E D B D bunnies!

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

How do you post a bunny? Hare mail

How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs (X) marks the spot

What did the man say when he saw 10 bunnies hopping over the hill? There go ten bunnies hopping over the hill.

What did the man say when he saw 10 bunnies hopping over the hill wearing sunglasses? Nothing- he didn't recognize them.

Easter is almost here!

Maybe the green eggs in my fridge have been dyed...Maybe not. You feel lucky??

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2006

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!" 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 8. THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new-22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE: Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

An Amazing Feat!

My little man at the dentist today. He conquored his fear of the dentist and had a filling done without total sedation, he's had to be put right to sleep before. I begged him to just get one of them done right then and there and he would see it wouldn't be that bad, and reminded him how much bigger and stronger and tougher that he is now. He decided at the last moment to just go for it and he did awesome, even said it was not that bad! I didn't believe this day would ever come. It didn't come easy though, when I was done with the pleading I had to revert to the sure-fire alternative. Cold Hard Cash. 10 bucks. But he did it. And said he'd go back for the other 2. What a little man! He said the sweetest thing today:

"In a way I want to grow up. Because I will get to make all the rules and I can do what I want. But in a way, I don't want to grow up. I don't think it'd really be that fun to ride your bike when you're older... And Cus when you're a kid you really don't have to do anything but have fun and go places and meet people. And I have got to go to so many places and do so many fun things and try so many things, that I think I'd like it to stay this way forever"

Aww.

My Peeps

Breanna and Goldie relaxin on a lazy day

Tough Guys!

Yo Momma so Poor...

MY FAVORITES:

Yo momma's so poor I went to the park and stepped on a lit ciggerette and she said "Who turned off the heat?"

Yo momma so poor when I asked, what's for supper, she kicked off her shoes and socks and said, CORN!!!

Yo momma so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.

I love this picture!

My mom and us kids when we were small, I must be about 3 1/2 years old here!

Walking on the Sunshine

I've been pretty depressed lately about the way my life is going. It has been one major event after another, I don't know when it will ever end. The other day I was at the doctor and he asked if I had ever thought about writing a book- I've heard that a lot and I've even considered it, this blog is even maybe a little book of me in itself. But sometimes it's just really hard to talk about myself, usually something is going on that is so totally huge that I blog to put it out of my head and I can't put it out to the world until I've figured it out myself. And there is so much I need to figure out!!

It's been 10 years since I started making the worst decisions of my life that have put me where I am now. I know I have no one to blame but myself. I know only I can be the person to make those change happen. I can control what I do, say, think, act but it is the actions of others and the effect it has on my life, and things I can't control that are holding me back.

I'm fighting to end the farce of a marriage I had, He is not making it easy, actually he is making it a whole lot more difficult and stalling every chance he gets. His family knows everything and has lied and covered to protect him. He breaks the rules every chance he gets and he gets away with it. I think he's on crack. The worst thing is that I have to deal with him for the REST OF MY LIFE. What was I thinking??

exhibit A

So, now that I'm nearly rid of the above, someone else comes waltzing BACK into my life and asks to be a part of my life and to just "figure things out" a day at a time kind of thing. Just "start by being friends". This person who completely abandoned me and my son 10 years ago. Now he's back, and has admitted he made mistakes and bad choices and doesn't know how to fix it but would like to try to make a start - to the complete and utter horror of the person I'm now with who is talking about making future plans and the commitment thing when I'm totally not ready to even think about that and I'm not even divorced yet. (See Exhibit "A")

Then I have tons of work that I just can't do much of with my broke back. It gets worse every day to the point I am having nerve damage and body parts going numb, Likelyhood of surgery in the next couple of weeks. But I'm more afraid of living the rest of my life in this pain and having zero quality of life than having the operation. I'll know on April 3 when I see the surgeon. Until then I have narcotics. LOTS of narcotics. And Ativan. So even though it is the first bit of relief I have had in a looong time, I recognize that it is to the detriment of my decision making at a time when I can't afford to unwittingly make ANOTHER bad choice. I can't trust my own judgement in the throes of legal battle, making choices that will affect my kids for the rest of their lives. But what can I do? Absolutely nothing. Sit, and stand. And sit, and stand. And sit, and stand (because it hurts to do both) and wonder when it will ever get back to normal, and if I even know what normal is. And because my eyes are not blind to the world I know there could be a chance I may not get through this operation as expected. I have to be ready for any outcome. My life is nothing I ever expected or dreamed it to be but it has been colorful. I have walked a lot. I have been to so many places and experienced so many people and things and lessons.

I have a favorite day that sticks out in my head, and although it was at a time I was at my worst lowest point in my life, I just took a day for me. I was in BC and I had an appointment in Vancouver at 9 am. I managed to catch a ride to Surrey and hopped the skytrain to Vancouver, only having been in Burnaby twice and with Mike driving. Anyways after my appointment I just walked around downtown window shopping, checking out all the cool buildings and parks, architecture and culture then headed over to Stanley Park. I think I walked around the whole park, stopping to admire everything I could that . I sat on the big wall with my legs hanging over, watching the ferries come and go, the sailboats, the incredible skyline of Vancouver. I lost time and by the time I left I was totallsoaked from mist. I missed my 5 pm ride from Surrey and didn't get home until 8:30 pm and everyone was sick with worry and furious with me for not calling but I didn't care. I was totally free that day. I stopped to smell all the flowers. I walked so much that day, I've never walked so much in my life but I remember feeling like I was walking on the sunshine. So that's my favorite day. And it's actually nice to remember right now!

And a joke to end:

Two surgeons and a dermatologist were sitting around a table having lunch when the two surgeons suddenly burst out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist?

"You wouldn't get it" says the one surgeon, "It's an inside joke!"

Energy

Last night I had a night of freedom from motherhood, and the car... so I decided to go for a drive to a nice spot on the riverbank. I took a batch of pictures of the Edmonton skyline and I'm not sure what happened here because all the other pics turned out fine-but it looks totally freakin' cool!

It looks to me like I captured the energy of our beautiful city!

I have a Leprechaun Name!

Leprechaun Name Your Leprechaun Name is Bonzi O'Callaghan Get Your Leprechaun Name at Quizopolis.com

Kids these days!!

I have to vent. This afternoon, Tyler was out just on the block when a couple of other kids came over, pushed him down, kicked him, threatened him and stole his bike. Grrrr. I am furious. Craig jumped in his truck and I in my car and if I would have found them myself I don't know what I'd have done. But thank goodness, Craig found them, chased them down, put the fear of God into them and retrieved the bike. He says they were only about 12 or 13 years old. Grrr. I think this area is getting a lot worse, maybe time to think about moving. Not that I want to, but I can't even let my kids play on our own block without being harassed and have things going missing out of our yard- The sad thing is that is all a bunch of little pre-teen native kids who we've had all the problems with. Last fall one stole Ty's skateboard a couple of times. The last time I walked right up to a ground floor apartment balcony and took it back. There was a dad or someone there and he didn't say or do a thing. I ask what is wrong with the kids but I have a good feeling someone should be asking the parents. It makes me sick!

Happy Birthday to my big bro!

Today is my big brother Ryans 35th birthday, He was born in the days of sideburns and Elvis.

Ryan is one year older than me but I usually kept up. Or I tried my hardest! He was always doing something when he was little, like disassembling all my dolls and barbies into pieces, torturing me with bugs, sicking dogs on me on the way to school, telling on me...usual sibling stuff I guess. I've decided to compile a "Best of" List:

Grossest thing I ever saw:

Ryan was claiming his devotion to a girl but she wouldn't give him the time of day unless he "proved it", which meant eating Ju-Jubes that she spit on and threw into the dirt. He was maybe in kindergarten or grade 1, and I was pretty grossed out and tried to talk him out of it, but the first one was green and he said "mmm, greens my favorite...it's just a little dirt"

Worst Rat-Out:

Ryan ratted me out for going to meet Corey O'Brien in grade 5 which ended up being the first time I was kissed by a boy. When I got home I was grounded for 2 weeks.

Worst time in trouble:

It's a long story in which the blame lays mostly on me but Ryan got it too cus he went along with it. My mom left a $20 bill on a chair in the living room and it was I, maybe 5 years old who came across it and had the bright idea of taking Ryan and all of our friends to the store. This is in the 70's, when a bag of chips or a chocolate bar was 25 cents. So me, Ryan, Tim, Ernie and Paul walked down to the corner store and I said since I found the money I would let them each get one thing and one thing only. So we all bought one thing. And I was left with like 19.00 in change and no good explanation for what I had just done. Once we were out of the store and I was left holding all the money, my concience went crazy and I told Ryan what I did. We decided the best thing to do was get rid of the evidence. The closest thing around? A big green garbage bin!! About 2/3 full. Later that day, or maybe even the next, my mom was questioning if any of us knew what happened to the money and it all came out. My mom was furious. It was money for Ryans birthday present. She marched us down to the bin and made Ryan hop in and search for it. Then when we got home we got our first dose of wooden spoon.

Scariest Moment:

Anytime Ryan was driving and I was a passenger. He makes me nervous.

Funniest Moment:

Ryan and I moved out when I was still in high school. We had a housewarming party and someone had the bright idea of buying a texas mickey of whisky! Well, Ryan was smashed, everyone else was smashed...that night was also a puke-o-rama, but I'll spare you the details. Well after everyone was gone I couldn't find Ryan, but I could hear the cat crying. I found him and the cat behind the recliner chair in the corner, and he was holding the cat down, who was trying to get away and he was saying "shhh. shh...you're going to hate me in the morning!". I don't know what that meant but I dragged Ryan out and rescued the cat. Then I tried to help Ry to bed. But as we went through his bedroom door he knocked over his dresser and tripped at the same time, he took me down with him, I landed on top of him and the dresser on top of both of us. I was trying to get up when I felt Ry start dry heaving and I looked down into his face. Right before he spewed I turned his face away from me and held it so he wouldn't puke on me, but it was puddled all around us. Then he passed out. I had to just lay him in it and leave until I worked up enough strength to pick him up. It wasn't really that funny then. But it's darned funny now!

Proudest Moment:

Everytime I see what a good dad you are to your kids!!

Worst ouch:

Once when we were riding our bikes to school he started chasing me with a stick. I took off as fast as I could but he got the better of me when he decided to poke the stick through the spokes of my tires. I went almost straight over the handlebars and got the wind knocked out of me SOOOO bad before I hit the road. I was furious.

Well Ryan, can you believe we're this old now!! And we have kids of our own?? My newest best memory was this past Christmas, when we went to dads for dinner...

"Sal AAAD? Would you like some salAAD?"

It was so funny to be sitting at the table with you and Jill giggling away about that. I felt like we were all kids again and everytime I think about it I still laugh! We have a lot of good memories and maybe one day we'll live in the same town long enough to have more! You're too far away big bro.

Hope you have an awesome birthday,

Love your Wendell

W.O.W

Marry not a tennis player-

For love means nothing to them!

Eagles Eye View

This sketch was a love hate relationship. When I first started it I thought it was crap. Then the other day I picked it up and did a little tweaking around the eyes...and voila! I already gave it to Booie but had to make a copy for myself!

I thought I had problems!

discovered at http://www.galwayfirst.ie/donkey/

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.

Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”

Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English. ” Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai. McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed.

He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.